Christmas Blues
by NCISVILLE
Summary: It wasn't supposed to be like this. This wasn't how their first Christmas together was supposed to end. Warning this is a very sad Christmas fic.


**This is for all those who have ever lost someone dear to them and have to go through Christmas without. Because while Christmas can be one of the most joyous times it can also be the most depressing. So I apologize if any of you cry because I'll admit, I did cry as I wrote this. **

**Christmas Blues**

Grant Ward hated Christmas. He hated it with every fiber of his being. Christmas was supposed to be a time of joy and happiness, he wasn't supposed to be saying goodbye to her. She wasn't supposed to die on Christmas, she was supposed to live far beyond him, he was the one among them who should be lying dead. The tears continued to flow as he held her now cold hand.

XxxxXXxxxxxxXXxxxX

"I need to know when I'm gone you'll be okay. Say yes." Skye coughed weakly as he held her in the hospital bed.

The words were stuck in his throat as he became choked up with emotion. It was Christmas Eve and the cancer was killing her. She was doing worse and worse each day and the doctor kept telling him to prepare for the inevitable. He knew saying yes to her would be a lie. There was no way he would be okay without her. How could she think he'd even be able to breathe without her beside him? They'd only been married a year and she was only 27. She wasn't supposed to die yet, she was supposed to outlive him. He loved Skye more than life so how could he have a life without her in it?

"Grant?" She questioned tilting her head back to meet his eyes.

"Yes?" He asked, his voice shaky. He cleared his throat trying to get rid of the tears that wanted to cascade. He was breaking but he couldn't. Not yet. He had to be strong. Be strong for her.

She sighed and cuddled closer to him. He stroked her hair and with each stroke she felt more at peace. "Please don't leave me." He whispered burying his head in her shoulder. Skye rolled over so she could face him and saw his eyes shining with tears that wanted to fall. Her heart broke seeing just how much pain he was in and her own eyes became filled with tears.

"I don't want to." She whispered in reply caressing his face with her cold hands covered in IV's. As soon as she touched him the tears began to fall. She knew he had wanted to stay strong and not cry but he couldn't do it alone. She cried with him running her hands through his hair repeating, "I love you."

Skye wished the team would come back in even though they had only just left five minutes ago. She missed them already and they needed people to make them laugh again. Skye wondered how Grant would handle the holiday once she was gone. She hoped he'd be able to find joy again after she was gone, that he'd be able to laugh still and see the good in life. She didn't want to leave. She wanted so badly to stay here with him. They still had so much they were going to do together. Travel to Paris without working, they were going to have kids, buy a house, settle down, have a great life. But stupid cancer had gotten in the way of all that. She hadn't been able to work for months and of course Grant had stopped working too so he could be beside her. For the four months though that they got to work while being married it was amazing. Training had become much more fun and they were so in sync when it came to field work that others started grouping their names together whenever they were spoken about. Skye smiled through her tears and leaned forward to kiss him when she suddenly felt sick and quickly turned over and threw up in the trashcan below. Grant was there behind her holding her hair and rubbing her back as she retched and heaved. There were tears of pain as it pulled at her stomach and her insides.

When she rolled onto her back trying to catch her breath Grant handed her napkins and a Dixie cup of water. She smiled at him in thanks and took the offered items.

"Better?" He asked the pain evident in his eyes. He hated seeing her in so much pain.

She nodded silently and closed her eyes for a moment before looking back at him. "God I'm exhausted. What time is it?"

"Almost midnight." He spoke after checking his watch.

"How many minutes?" She asked curiously.

"Three."

"My last Christmas." She said sadly.

Grant swallowed thickly unable to say anything because he knew it was true.

"I love you so much Skye." He said with a trembling voice.

"I love you too Grant." She replied taking a hold of his hand. Despite her sickness Grant still leaned in and kissed her softly. It lingered for some time both not wanting it to end but a fit of coughs pulled Skye away.

She closed her eyes and lay her head back against the hospital pillow.

"Merry Christmas Skye." Grant whispered kissing her head.

"Merry Christmas." She whispered back falling asleep. Grant watched her for a few minutes before finally choosing to sleep too. It was when the nurse came in at two in the morning to check on her that he was woken up by all the bustle of people.

He got off the bed confused for just a moment until he noticed Skye's heart monitor and the doctors choosing not to try and revive her.

"Why aren't you doing anything!" He screamed. "Bring her back! I need her!" He wailed falling down on his knees beside the bed and resting his head on her still form.

"She's in a better place now Mr. Ward. She was in so much pain here. She was suffering the more she tried to stay." One of the nurses said softly placing a hand on his shoulder as he wept. "You wife loved you so much she waited to be able to say Merry Christmas and spend one last Christmas with you."

Even after everyone had left Grant continued to weep for the loss of his soul mate.

XxxxXXXxxxxxxXXxxxX

Yes, Grant Ward hated Christmas. He would always remember how she was taken from him on Christmas morning. The holiday he had once loved he now hated with a passion and he doubted he'd ever be able to celebrate it again.

**End**

**Merry Christmas everyone and Happy Holidays! **


End file.
